Drowning in Memories
by boxthissideup
Summary: Oneshot. "Anything?" He whispered, his face inches from the other's."Blurs," He murmured, earning a nod from Axel. The man's lips made contact with Saïx's neck, and started to lay kisses and small bites along it, leaving nothing behind.


**A/N: So here's a little SaiAku that came to my mind the other day... Enjoy~**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing 'cept for the plot. The rest belongs to Nomura and Square Enix.**

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**_Drowning in Memories_**

They had always been together. They had been the duo that everyone knew. One was not spoken of without the other closely following behind. One of ambition and brilliance, and the other of foolishness and ignorance. Both these children fed off one another, taking the attributes that they would otherwise lack and become complete. Many people did not understand how two people of such opposite nature could be as close as these two, but that never mattered to them. For as long as they knew, that was all they cared about.

Isa and Lea. It was well known over the garden of who they were and what they were to one another, even if it wasn't said aloud. Things like the bond between them did not need a label; they just were. This carried on with them from childhood to when they became young adults. It was when they caught the interest of the castle, and the inhabitants of it.

Mainly, they interested the man who was controlling it all: Xehanort. The man who was freely experimenting on the hearts of the residents of the garden, and the other apprentices. He had a goal to obtain, even if no one else was fully aware of what it entailed.

Time after time, Isa and Lea would try and sneak their way into the castle, to see what was happening in the place that they were forbidden. Both of them were too intrigued, too naïve to see what was happening in the castle's depths, to see the darkness that was slowly spreading over the warmth of their garden.

It was that ambition that caught Xehanort's attention. And the complete bonding of their hearts. While Isa was rather standoff, Lea was his complete opposite. Like the sun to the moon, Lea's light spread to Isa's being, and strengthened him, supported him and kept him safe. Needless to say, the boys were unaware of how much they relied on one another. Xehanort needed it to stay that way.

With their ignorance, he managed to separate them once they were within the castle. With spun words and manipulation of the darkness lingering in Isa's heart, and his own desire to keep Lea safe. While Lea wandered, trying to find his friend, growing more and more panicked by the minute, Xehanort was cracking Isa open to his core, twisting and corrupting his entire being.

The change was almost immediate. His eyes shifted colour, becoming a luminescent gold. With his eyes, his personality soon followed after. He managed to get away from the man soon after that before his corruption could be complete.

While this happened to the blunette, Lea was trying to get passed the apprentices that were still walking around. He could tell that something was different about them, but had no idea what. It was almost enough to distract him from finding his friend, but not quite. He had a feeling he knew where he was, but getting down there was next to impossible.

With skillful dodging and sneaking, he managed to get to his desired location; the basement laboratory. Right then he was able to see Isa, with his back to him. Lea ran towards him, and outstretched his hand to grasp his shoulder.

"_Isa!"_

As he turned, the scent of blood assaulted Lea's nostrils. His stomach gave a violent flip. "_Isa..._"

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"_Isa…_"

The man's voice cut through Saïx's thoughts, bringing him back to his reality. Instead of being in the basement of the castle, the castle where everything fell apart, he was in the blinding white room, in the Castle That Never Was. His chest gave a painful, hollow throb as he heard footsteps approach. They were quiet, slow, trying to be delicate in their arrival. Saïx knew those steps, knew them better than anything.

He rose from his chair from where he had dozed, and pulled open the door before any knock could be given, staring at the face he was met with. His face wasn't the only one that the Organization changed. His eyes locked onto the upside down teardrops on Axel's cheekbones. No words were exchanged between the two of them as Axel stepped inside, their gaze never breaking.

Saïx stood still for a moment, just watching the other go and lean against the opposite wall, his arms crossed firmly against his chest. Both their expressions were stone cold as Saïx pushed the door closed behind him, the soft '_click_' echoing through the room.

Had this been in the past, Lea would have come up to Isa and placed an affectionate kiss to Isa's lips, or pulled him into an embrace that would last much too long. Or Isa may have started it, putting his arms around the other with little to no words to detail the moment. But this was not the past. Neither of them were the teenage boys they had once been, idly showing each other affections and centering their lives around one another. They were adult Nobodies, plagued and ruled over by the man who gave them empty promises and a fake entity to complete.

That was part of what these nights were for, and they were both aware of it. To try and remind themselves of what they once had, even if it was all a pile of memories. Most of the thoughts Saïx could not access, but the azure haired Nobody would feed off of Axel, just like he had always done. His moon feeding off the fire of Axel's sun.

As usual, Axel was the first to move. Saïx realized that he hadn't moved away from the door, but figured it didn't matter much. Axel slipped his own gloves off, and Saïx mirrored the action. Axel's hand slipped into Saïx's hold, and he walked him toward the bed. Saïx blindly followed, letting him take the lead for the moment until his instincts took over as they often did in these situations.

Axel's lips found Saïx's, and pulled him closer as they sat side by side on the mattress. There was nothing in the kiss that was searching for emotion, just common ground to see where they should go from that point. But the kiss didn't stay that simple for long. They both got a taste for what they were searching for, and both of them started to respond.

They were in search of drawing out their memories, their emotions, and they both knew what that entailed. Axel's kiss began soft and timid, as Lea's had been years ago. Saïx's was hesitant, but returned nonetheless. Axel's hand snaked onto Saïx's leg, and Saïx's hand cupped his cheek, running his thumb over his tattooed cheekbone.

Axel's eyes fell closed and he pressed his forehead to Saïx's, his breathing coming out slowly. It was a night of slowness, after all. They would have sex for other reasons, but this night was not about what they would normally aim for. A form of recreation, that's what it was. Saïx's other hand raised, and gripped the large zipper of his coat, and pulled it down, Axel's familiar body appearing as he pushed it off of him. A faint smile pushed onto the pyromaniac's face. He unzipped him slowly, opening his eyes to see what he was doing.

Unlike Axel, Saïx wore an under shirt beneath his jacket. "_Mm, even on nights like this_?" He mused aloud, a small laugh escaping him to try and ease the situation. Saïx just stared at him blankly, and his laugh quietly died, replaced with a low sigh. He took hold of the hem of his shirt, and slowly pulled it up and off; trailing his hands up his sides as he did so. A low gasp came out of Saïx's mouth at the contact, the grin returning to Axel's face.

Axel's head was already swimming with the memories while Saïx's was starting to pound in a familiar pain of blurred out images of their more pleasant times. A slight purr left the redhead as he pushed Saïx down onto the bed, maneuvering himself so that he was sitting on the man's hips. He leaned down and took hold of Saïx's wrists, pinning them on either side of his head. Saïx let it happen, offering no resistance.

"_Anything?_" He whispered, his face inches from the other's.

"Blurs," He murmured, earning a nod from Axel. The man's lips made contact with Saïx's neck, and started to lay kisses and small bites along it, leaving nothing behind. Behind closed doors it was just the two of them, but in reality, others would see any markings, no matter how faint, on either of their bodies. Saïx could freely leave markings on Axel's, but it could not be reciprocated, no matter how much either of them wished it to be so.

The assault of his mouth continued, down to his collar bone, passing it to kiss at the top of his chest. Saïx just lay there, trying to think of a proper reaction. His body squirmed slightly, but not enough to strain either of them. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on remembering.

It was almost ironic to the Diviner that he was having this done to him, when he was normally the one to issue control. But there was the chance of him easily switching the tables later on, but for now Axel had the control over the situation and he had no intention of trying to stop him, least not yet.

The hands holding his wrists loosened and fell from their place, his hot fingers running back down Saïx's cool skin. The sensation made a shudder go through his body, and he turned his head slightly, looking down at the mess of red that was blocking him from seeing much else. He pushed his hips out slightly to grind at his pants to get his attention. Axel's actions immediately stopped, and he looked up at him, his green eyes laced over with a heavy lust. But that was not what made Saïx gasp.

The face looking up at him was one of youthfulness, Saïx's mind playing tricks on him in this moment. He watched him run a hand through his shortened hair and a playful smirk came onto his face. "_Remember enough?_" A nod was given, even if it was a lie; could he say he remembered enough when his mind was making him see Lea? He doubted that to be the case.

But as fast as Lea appeared, he disappeared and Saïx was left staring at the grown man once more. He was aware that Axel was now making way with his pants, and his own. He lifted his hips slightly to make it easier for him, shivering slightly as he was left in the nude. But Axel's body quickly aided him by sitting back on his hips, grinning down with a cocky expression. "_Well well Is'~ this is the most you've let me lead in a while,_" He teased, a hollow laugh leaving him. Saïx nearly rolled his eyes.

"That could change quite quickly," He murmured, but made no move to do so. He just watched the man lean over him and the bed to reach the bedside table. While Saïx might not have had many supplies, he had enough for what was going through Axel's head. He pulled open the drawer and Saïx watched with mild interest as he pulled out the small tube of lubrication. He flashed the Diviner a smile as he popped off the lid and let it drop to the floor. He spilled the content onto his hand as he moved back into his original position.

Instead of rubbing himself like Saïx had expected, Axel's lubricated hand found its way to Saïx's member, taking hold of it and rubbing it slowly. He heated up his hands to increase the pleasures for his partner, and watched him bite back a moan.

"_That's it Is'…_" Saïx heard him mutter as his action's continued, his length hardening with each go. Saix's hands rolled into fists and he held in any noises, knowing that Axel would work harder to get the reaction he desired. Axel's hand continued to work him, brushing his hand over his head, and the slit of his member. A small grunt left him at the touch, and Axel merely squeezed him harder, digging his slim fingers against every bump, ridge, and vein he could get.

It didn't take long for Saïx's member to start to leak, further lubricating himself with the pre-cum. Axel smirked in success. His free hand reached down, two digits running and collecting the mix of lubrication and Saïx's essence before lifting his hips up off of Saïx's body. The scarred Nobody watched him reach behind himself, and start to push his fingers into himself, doing a short self preparation.

Before Saïx could even process what he was seeing correctly, Axel's hold on him loosened and his weight shifted until he was fully hovering over his twitching member. He felt Axel's eyes on him, and again, a flash of Lea's younger being flashed over Saïx's line of vision. He blinked, doing his best to keep his face blank as he noticed the look of silent request on the man's face. He gave a nod, the arms that were still idly on either side of his head raised, and he gripped onto his hips,

With the Diviner's aid, Axel was lowered down onto him, a low groan echoing through the room. His grip tightened and he pushed his hips up into Axel's tight cavity, small gasps and grunts passing through his lips as Axel started to bounce and ride him. Saïx kept his eyes trained on Axel's face, watching him recall the memories of pleasure that were surely going through his mind. The walls Saïx still had up began to crumble down and he started to slip into the ecstasy brought on by the situation.

Axel's moans filled the otherwise silent room, and Saïx's own grunts came in compliment to them. The pyromaniac's body began to heat up more, practically catching a flame as he started to move at a faster pace. Both of them knew they would not last long at this rate, but neither of them were going to say anything bad about it.

Saïx's abdomen began to pool with a warmth that was only aided by Axel's body. A few more thrusts were given until he felt Axel's body begin to tense. "_I-Isa…_" Axel moaned, his body arching back and pushing down. That was the last step they both needed. Saïx let out a single moan, feeling both of them reach their climaxes simultaneously, and all Saïx could focus on was the heat that hit his stomach.

His eyes drifted closed, and he felt Axel's weight disappear off of him. His eyes opened a crack, to see the young face back, inches away from his own. But he wasn't as solid as he had been a moment ago, and Saïx nearly broke. He reached out his hand, trying to touch him. He should have known better.

"_I love you, Isa,_" The boy whispered, his eyes slowly dulling.

"I…" The words choked in his throat, and his chest twisted as the words passed out of him. "I love you too," He muttered, unsure of why he was truly saying it.

"_There's my Is'… I've been waiting for you,_" The fading apparition responded. Saïx closed his eyes when he felt the lips against his own, slowly fading away from him. When his eyes reopened, he was alone in the room. Axel, Lea, neither was anywhere to be seen. He let out a choked breath, and rolled onto his side, ignoring the mess he knew he was covered in.

It never failed to amaze him, what tricks his loneliness and longing could hold on him, in his mind and in his distant memories. Since Axel's fading, he couldn't recall when these episodes had begun, but it seemed it was all the Diviner had left of his friend. He had faded into the darkness. Since then he himself had begun to change more, every passing day he slipped further into the darkness, growing more and more desperate for Kingdom Heart's completion.

Axel, Lea, had been his light, his sun. Without him, Isa and Saïx were both lost in the depths of space; a being overshadowed and trapped in the endless abyss.


End file.
